


so much for summer love

by littletownstreet



Series: the feeling i've got [2]
Category: Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, past jade/jed mentioned, this is entirely people going to crowded places and discussing plane travel sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25612513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littletownstreet/pseuds/littletownstreet
Summary: The absolute worst way to approach a birthday present is probably to center it around self-indulgent fantasies that the person it’s for has never expressed any interest in. He plans what’s probably their first proper date.
Relationships: Niall Horan/Jade Thirlwall
Series: the feeling i've got [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1856548
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	so much for summer love

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to have a hamilton title (to properly express how embarrassing this is) but more important matters came up. disclaimer: i don't know who "jed elliot" is and i've never heard of "the struts" in my life #streamfolklore

Landing in London, Niall told himself to temper his expectations for what being in the same city as Jade would mean. They’d kept in touch semi-regularly, Niall painstakingly coming up with replies to her Instagram posts that are both witty enough to impress her and substantive enough so as to not come off as desperate and looking for any excuse to talk to her (which obviously is the case) and her texting back easily with something twice as funny with seemingly half the effort. It’s been deeply stressful but she’s yet to ghost him. 

She’s much busier this time of year than she was during the summer and she has all her friends at her side now. He figured he’d be lucky if they managed to meet up even once, but Jade seemed thrilled to learn he was in England and he managed to get an invite to her next night out with her friends without repeatedly dropping hints about having free time and being alone like he thought he’d have to. 

She texted him the address of the club she’d be at and he waited at least an hour before leaving because it seemed like a cool thing to do. And then he spent a not insignificant portion of the car ride over drafting and rewriting an apology for being so late (He ended up making the correct, he’d say, decision of only texting to let her know he’d arrived.)

He wasn’t sure who her friends were or how much they knew about whatever they were doing –  _ Niall  _ wasn’t sure he knew about whatever they were doing, this being the first time he was seeing her in months and all. And as far as their relationship went, they had kept to themselves for the most part in LA. He wasn’t sure what exactly she wanted to be here, in front of people she actually knew. 

Jade, already on her way to well and truly drunk, didn’t overthink it much. After greeting him and giving him a moment to give a friendly wave in the direction of her friends, she pulled him deeper into the VIP section, into a booth, and climbed right onto his lap. 

They spent a good portion of the night like that, with Jade utterly disinterested in catching up and instead only pulling away from his mouth to hand him shots and staring intensely as he downed them. 

“You should come to my birthday party,” she said at one point, her lips so close to his cheek he felt her breath on his skin with every word. He very nearly choked on his drink. “I haven’t picked a theme yet, but I think you would look really good in a sparkly costume.”

“Yeah, ‘course,” he said as he turned his mouth towards hers again, and then pulled away just as suddenly. “Oh, wait. Your birthday’s around New Year’s, right? I’m not going to be around for that.”

“You won’t?” she frowned. “When do you leave?”

“End of this month. Sorry.”

“Oh,” she said, and she’d looked so genuinely upset that he was ready to take it back. There was no way he’d be able to get out of going back to the States for New Year’s, but he’d lie to her if it made her happier. “I wanted you to be my New Year’s kiss. I guess I’ll have to find a replacement now.”

And, well. He’s not sure he’d ever heard a more compelling reason to throw his career away.

A blonde girl Niall recognized as Jade’s roommate raised her eyebrow when she caught sight of them. “Niall Horan?”

All of Jade’s friends seemed to know who he was, though whether that’s because she talks about him or because he’s Niall Horan of Former Boyband Fame he hadn’t been sure. 

“Yeah, I told you I invited him,” she said. Or something like that, probably; it was a little hard to focus when she was dragging her nails up the back of his neck. “We’re together, or whatever.” 

“Or whatever,” he repeated dutifully.  _ Whatever,  _ here meaning  _ whatever Jade wants.  _

It was definitely more than a little embarrassing how eager he was to make out with her in public, even if it was in a darkened corner of a club where he hardly knew anyone except her. Meeting her friends hadn’t really felt like any type of milestone since nothing between the two of them is ever really going to change, but it felt nice to know there were going to be witnesses to this. The little piece of Jade he gets to have feels more real now that it lives in more than just his own memory. 

That and Jade’s enthusiasm for PDA made them both a little giddy and dumb. 

She went home with him later that night, all sleepy-drunk and clingy. They kissed for a bit but spent most of the ride with her head on his shoulder, him playing with the bracelets on her wrists while she drifted off, breathing softly into his neck. 

He led her gently to bed, Jade’s eyes hardly staying open by the time they made it back to his. 

In the morning, the other side of the bed was empty. Not an unfamiliar sight, but disappointing all the same. He checked his phone (texts, emails, nothing from her) before getting out of bed and going downstairs.

“Oh, hi,” she said when he found her in his kitchen wearing his shirt and not much else. “I wanted water. And then I thought it would be nice if I brought you water, you know, for when you woke up. And I got, um, a bit lost. You have a lot of cabinets.”

He smiled at her and got her her water. 

And now he hasn’t seen Jade in two weeks and is highly aware of the fact that in one month’s time he will be missing her birthday party. He’s not even sure how upset she truly is that he won’t be there, but in his own head he’s convinced himself he’s let her down tragically and is desperate to make it up to her. 

The absolute worst way to approach a birthday present is probably to center it around self-indulgent fantasies that the person it’s for has never expressed any interest in. He plans what’s probably their first proper date. 

A portion of the last two weeks has been sleepless nights thinking about Jade kissing a stranger on New Year’s at her birthday party and falling in love and leaving him behind for good, and as paranoid and crazy as that is, he knows the thought only bothers him this much because regardless of when or how, he won’t be allowed this forever. If this really does end so soon he wants a memory like this to keep afterwards. 

He picks a casual restaurant he’s been to tons of times with his friends, the kind of place that has brightly colored booths and doesn’t mind drunk people stumbling in at late hours of the night, and texts her to let her know he can pick her up and that she doesn’t have to dress up for this. 

He asks the driver to let them out walking distance of the restaurant because he wants to hold her hand, and sometimes when she’s a bit distracted she’ll start to sing absently to herself. She doesn’t sing, and she doesn’t talk much either. He anxiously tries to fill the silence but Jade doesn’t seem to be too into it.

This is the end of the line, then. 

Jade perks up a bit when their drinks arrive and Niall’s trying to decide if it would hurt more to cut his losses now or try to salvage this disaster. 

“I’m sorry,” Jade says suddenly. “I know I’m not being much fun tonight.”

“No,” Niall assures her, even though that’s the exact thought he’s been torturing himself with all night. “You’re fine. I’m having fun.”

Jade smiles weakly at him and looks down at her drink. She looks a little like she did that morning standing by herself in his big kitchen, or those first few days last summer; lost and lonely. 

And he realizes the whole night he’s been just as stupid and selfish as he was when he planned this date. Obviously she has an entire life outside of him. Obviously if she’s upset about something it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with him, and if he thought something was wrong he should just ask her instead of moping. 

“Are you alright, though? You seem… down today. We can reschedule if you’re not feeling well. If you want.” He can’t reschedule, but. 

“Jed wrote a song about me.”

“Oh,” Niall says stupidly. “That’s…”  
“He sent it to me today. It’s not mean or anything. It’s like…” She laughs to herself. “It’s not like ‘Shout Out’ or anything.”

“What’s it about, then?” He asks carefully. “If it’s not mean?” 

“It’s like, god, I don’t know, reflective? It’s-”  
He can see her eyes start to well up and regrets asking at all. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to- we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, I- I’m sorry. I’m ruining your dinner.”

“You’re not. This is your dinner. You can ruin it if you like,” he says quickly. 

This makes her laugh a bit. Niall’s never been so obsessed with anything like he is with making her laugh. 

“You probably think this is so stupid,” she says. “You’ve probably got loads of songs written about you.” 

“Um, well. Maybe not  _ loads _ .” he chuckles uncomfortably, “But I don’t think it’s stupid. It’s always hard, you know, reliving that stuff. Hearing it all from the other person. You’re not stupid to still be hurt.”

She wipes at her eyes again and gives him a shaky smile. “Thanks, Niall. You’re really nice.”

The word  _ nice  _ settles strangely over him, makes his skin crawl and itch with how badly she’s misunderstood what he feels and what he’s trying to express.  _ Nice  _ doesn’t fit over the big overwhelming feelings that barely feel like they fit inside his chest.

He wonders if this is the very best or absolute worst time to mention to her how many more songs she’s had written about her. Between the lines he wrote on his notes app while she slept next to him last summer and the bordering-on-unhinged way he couldn’t bring himself to write about anything else in the weeks after she left, she’s probably got a whole album’s worth of sappy gross heartsick songs. 

“And anyway. It’s probably not even a good song,” he says. “Riddled with clichés, I bet.” 

The rest of dinner is nice, even if there’s a thread of melancholy through everything. He thinks she can tell how hard he’s trying to make her laugh, but she seems to think that's funny in itself and that’s all he cares about. 

“What are you doing after this?” She asks when he’s helping her into her coat.

“Don’t know, just going home, probably. Why?”

“Was just thinking,” she says, “I really like hanging out with you.” 

An uncontrollable smile makes its way onto his face and she returns it. “I’ve only got a couple days left here, but you could come home with me tonight.”

“Yeah,” she says. “That sounds fun.”

**Author's Note:**

> i know :// the hamilton title was supposed to be "if i could grant you peace of mind" lol so. [relevant supplementary material](https://nialljade.tumblr.com/post/622927552262078464/niall-horan-black-and-white-hamilton-that) and while i'm here the [fic post for this series.](https://loudermans.tumblr.com/post/621928566351953920/wont-you-keep-letting-me-niall-x-jade-11k) thanks for reading jiall nation <3


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